My mom had a discussion about depression with my Grandad (a
retired psychiatrist) yesterday. He claimed that situational depression often
has to do with loss. At his age, he is losing a lot—his wife, his friends, and
his health. When I asked him how he was doing the other day he said, “Well…every
day it’s just different levels of not good.”
Reading about how human development is multidirectional
really resonated with me—when thinking about my Grandad’s life and my own. We
can never avoid change as long as we’re living. The text states, “when a man’s
wife dies, his physical, intellectual, and social well-being often decline”
(van den Brink et al., 2004). I’ve
observed this trend with my Grandad. While he appears to still be completely
“with it” intellectually, his physical and social well-being has definitely
declined since the passing of my Grandma. I guess with old age these types of
losses are inevitable.
There is a balance between gains and losses, though. I found
it interesting how the text mentioned that, “every change produces unexpected advances
and retreats” (Berger, 2011). I see that during this transitional phase in my
life.
This time last year I thought I would be in dental school
right now. It’s something I’ve been working towards for the majority of my
education. After realizing that going to dental school wasn’t what I really
wanted but rather what others wanted for me, I made a change and decided to
switch career paths. At first, I felt like I was moving backwards (moving back
home, not going directly to grad school like most of my friends, not having a
job). But I’m glad life forced me to slow down—because this past summer I’ve
formed relationships and gained new perspectives that I probably wouldn’t have
if I’d continued on the track I had set out in my mind. I’m still working
towards becoming that self-sufficient adult (just not in the way I originally
expected)!
Where there is a lot to lose, there is much to gain.
from my limited observation of people i would agree with you that situational depression often has to do with loss. Did you Grandfather mention any of the other factors for situational depression that are not loss related? It seems older people lose so much, and sometimes rapidly, their health, friends, spouses, independence, memory and more.
ReplyDeletechanging your own plans means loss of the Dental school goal, but on the flip side it's the gain of doing what you actually want to do with your life. One thing i've seen is that even really wonderful things in our lives, often involve loss ie. marriage - which involves a degree of loss of freedom and independence, new baby - loss of sleep and more, new job - loss of old job, move to dream location - loss of old friends.
i'm glad for you that you've taken the time to re-evaluate your career goals and that you've formed relationships and gained new perspectives. Life is a journey and it's more about living the journey well than getting to any destination in the shortest amount of time. i love your closing line.
He didn't mention any other factors for situational depression that aren't loss related. But, he did talk about whether or not there are healthy forms of escapism (he likes watching Western movies, haha). Thank you for your comment. You're right--a lot of the wonderful things in life involve loss too. What you said reminds me of a Chinese proverb I heard once: "The journey is the destination."
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