Roots & Wings

"What now?" my friend's parents asked as they set down two baby carriers (one holding my friend, the other, her twin brother). I love hearing parents recall the days when they themselves were just figuring out adult life. My friend's mom told us that nothing really prepares you for being a first-time parent. It's a learn-as you go process. But one things for certain--the day she and her husband brought their twins home their world shifted. She kept asking herself, "WHO gave us permission to do this [parenting]?!" It is an immense responsibility to take care of a child. You have an influence in shaping who that child will become. 

"Children's beliefs about their worth are connected to parental confirmation, especially when parents remind their children of their positive accomplishments"  (Reese et al., 2007). As a young adult, I still identify with this statement. At graduation I decorated my cap with sparkly silver letters that spelled out, "Thanks mom and dad for roots and wings." My parents have given me VERY deep roots. And by this I mean I feel connected to my family and where I came from. My parents have instilled values in me which I will probably have for the rest of this life. I just started "growing out my wings" this year, though. I realized that even though I'm independent in many ways, I still have this constant need to seek approval from my parents (specifically my mom). At heart, I'm still that 3-year-old girl who says "Look what I did mom! Aren't you proud of me?" This frustrates me because I feel this need for approval extends to other areas of my life... Now that I'm aware of it, however, I'm making a conscious effort to look internally rather than externally for approval. No matter where I end up in life, I'll always be grateful for my parents. And, I'm learning to value their opinions without basing my decisions on their approval.