chapter 19 post 2

Sternberg's 7 Forms of Love and Hookups Without Commitment are two parts of this chapter that I found most interesting. These relate to my life and where I stand in my relationship right now. Like said in the text, "Love itself has many manifestations, which may differ from time to time". It also depends on your culture, gender and age. I first looked at the seven types of love. I don't agree with them all. I do not think that liking, infatuation or empty love should be considered forms of love. Liking a person and becoming intimate can happen between any two people. You can share your secrets and have sex with someone without loving them You can just like the way the look. Infatuation also doesn't seem like it should be considered love. You are only passionate about the person. You have "intense physical, cognitive and emotional onslaught because of excitement, ecstasy and euphoria". I look at this as being obsessed with a person. There isn't commitment or intimacy. This stage seems like you want to know the person. That is not love. Lastly, empty love is not love between a couple. In my opinion, empty love occurs between family members based off of definition. It says that it "grows through mutual caregiving, shared possessions, and forgiveness". There is no intimacy or passion between siblings and there shouldn't be. In a marriage, love should have at least two components, and ideally have all three. I tested my relationship while looking at passion, intimacy, and commitment and if each of these are present in my own relationship. Me and my partner definitely still are passionate and intimate. Commitment varies because of the age that we are at. There are other people that we sometimes want to get to know or are physically attracted to and that is okay. There isn't cheating going on, but there is curiosity. We aren't too far into our relationship and I definitely believe that the commitment aspect will come into full affect eventually. The second thing that I found interesting about this reading was the "hookups without commitment" topic. The book says that hookups are more accepted in society today. We know that our peers sometimes "hook up"with others that they are only friends with and not in a relationship. Also, it says that hook ups are more common among first year college students than those about to graduate. I agree with this statement in the fullest. When you first get to college, you are no longer living under your parents house. You are on your own for the first time. You want to explore and get to know different people from different areas. A lot of people see this as a negative thing. I don't believe that it is negative to explore and figure out what you like and don't like and want or don't want in a relationship. Hookups help you find out different things about yourself. I am not saying I agree with multiple hook ups. I am only saying I understand the reasoning behind some of them.