Depression

Depression impacts many adolescence. I remember when I got diagnosed with depression. After my dad passed away I turned into a rebellious teenager who just didn't care anymore. My dad and I were so close and I was trying to fill a void that I knew I could never fill but I still tried. My mom and I lost all the communication we had and all we did was fight and bicker. I was suffering from depression. I didn't even know I was suffering from depression till I went and saw my doctor. I was crying all the time and  the littlest thing bothered me. I alienated all my closest friends because I wanted to be alone. Worst part was the fact that I would have rather been with my dad then be without him because depression just turned me into a person no one recognized not even myself. During this time, I got sexually abused because I was to the point of no return and I said no repeatedly and I got hurt for saying no. I don't remember much more after that just waking up the next day with a splitting headache. I saw my doctor a lot after that but I was never fully diagnosed till June of 2010. Once I was diagnosed, I had to see a therapist to talk to someone and take an anti-depressant every night. My mom saw the light come back into my eyes and she knew my happiness was coming back. Things were starting to look up. I was able to ween myself off my medicine in 2013. That year my life drastically changed and I started dating the love of my life who accepted me and my son, we happily got engaged just recently and its not the easiest situation. I will always suffer from depression but now I know I will always have my son, my family, my friends and my fiance to help me through the rough patches in life. I still have moments where I just want to be alone but I know that I won't stay that way. Normally those days occur on important dates like a birthday or the anniversary of my dads death. I am glad that I am able to grieve the fact that my grandfather has Alzheimer's and I hope it will be easier but I doubt it because my grandfather and I were extremely close. We learn early that life isn't always fair but that is just how life works.