The stages of attachment outlined in chapter 7 were quite interesting to me. Thinking back to my own attachment during each stage (aside from infancy of course, which I can't remember), it's interesting to see how early attachments have effected my current relationships as well as how they have changed with new experiences. Due to my lack of a relationship with my dad, when I was younger I was very distrusting of any man that came into my life, whether it be someone my mother was dating or someone I was dating myself. As I got older and matured more, so did my relationships. Now, there's no one I trust more or am more attached to than my soon to be husband.
Of course, I'm attached to my daughter as well as my unborn son, but it's a different feeling, one which no one can interfere with. Capree went through her phase of freaking out every time I left the room (and still does every now and then), but she is starting to get more comfortable with venturing on her own. She disappears into her room with her kitten to play for a while, comes out to make sure I'm still there, and goes right back into her room. If I leave her while she's playing, her reaction is very much the reaction of a securely attached toddler. She plays on her own while I'm there, gets a little upset when I leave, but still continues to play, and when I return she's happy and goes right back to playing.
thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad that we can learn to trust and develop healthier relationships even as adults. I have had a good relationship with my father, my brothers and other men in my life, so it's pretty easy for me to trust men. However my relationship with my mother has been difficult and i used to have difficulty developing relationships with other women. I now have a really great couple for mentors. Because of this safe caring woman I have been able to be more trusting of other women as well. My mother is now not the sole "mother" figure in my life.
ReplyDeleteNeat that you are able to better understand your daughter's development through what you're learning in this course.